Extravagant Love

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge so that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."  Ephesians 3:17-19

Someone who is rooted in love doesn't have a fear of being uprooted, overthrown, or replaced.  

Someone who is established in love has had experience, time, and growth.  

Security (being rooted) + wisdom (being established) = power.  

Security allows  you to relinquish control, to quit manipulating outcomes, and to trust the Father to take care of you.  Security enables you to accept others, forgive quickly, and love deeply, because you know you are deeply loved.  

Wisdom gives you perspective into people and situations, lets you see past the surface and into the heart, shows you the real, raw need inside.  Wisdom also brings discernment, to hold your tongue or speak the truth, to know deep in your soul the right thing to do.  

This type of love, born out of security in Christ and bred from the wisdom of walking with Him, "surpasses knowledge." You can't take a class on it or read a how-to book on it.  It comes from God (because He first loved us) and is solidified through knowing Him, obeying Him, talking to Him, and reading His Word.

God, help me to love extravagantly, because I am extravagantly loved.

About Shades of Grey

(I posted this on facebook last week, so this is a re-post)

I know this isn't going to make me popular but I really don't care.  I can't keep quiet anymore.

I will not be reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  I've read enough reviews and blogs to have a solid understanding about the storyline.  I could cite dozens of reasons for why I'm not going to read it, such as I'm trying to teach my girls about respecting themselves, I want to protect my marriage, etc. etc.

But the most compelling reason is this:  There are actual women in our world who are actually being sexually exploited.  Why do we, in America, think it's fun and harmless to read about sexual bondage?

Yesterday I listened to a speech given by Pranitha Timothy - a woman who risks her life every day to rescue men, women, and children who are being exploited through modern day slavery.  Every day when she kisses her husband and young daughter goodbye, she knows it could be the last time.  She has participated in 50 rescue missions in some of the most dangerous parts of India. Check out her work here: http://www.ijm.org/content/message-pranitha-timothy-ijm-director-aftercare-chennai

How about some real life statistics?

- An estimated 2.5 million people are in forced labor (including sexual exploitation) at any given time as a result of trafficking.
- 1.2 million are children, some as young as 7 or 8 years old.
- 95% of victims experienced physical or sexual violence as a result of trafficking.
- 43% of victims are used for forced commercial sexual exploitation - 98% of those are women and children.

(Statistics borrowed from http://www.unglobalcompact.org/docs/issues_doc/labour/Forced_labour/HUMAN_TRAFFICKING_-_THE_FACTS_-_final.pdf)

These are real people, real victims -- this is an atrocity and a very real problem in our world.

And again, I ask, why are we entertained by a story that portrays sexual bondage as harmless and fun and erotic?

How about one more real life statistic?  This book has already sold 20 million copies.  At $10 a copy, that's 200 million dollars.  How would this world be different if we had spent that money on rescuing the real life victims of sexual slavery??

Faithful in the Little Things

For the past two nights, Sophia has had problems sleeping.  She comes into our room five, six, seven times, crying, anxious, desperate.  The first night, I coached her through what she could do - read, listen to music, pray, get a drink.  Nothing worked.  So then I gave her some Benadryl.  Next I sat on the edge of her bed, stroking her hair until I was sure she was asleep.  But ten minutes later, there she was again, crying next to my bed.  Finally I just told her to sleep in my bed and I would go sleep in the basement.

The second night, I was firm.  "Don't come in here again - there is nothing more I can do for you."  She came in anyways.  Three times.  Finally I told her I would pray for her and then if she came in again there would be a consequence.   As I lay in bed awake, annoyed that my sleep had been interrupted, I pondered what was making me so upset. Was I truly concerned for her, or was I only worried about myself and my sleep?  Was I making it all about me? Am I not even able to sacrifice a few hours of sleep to help my daughter through this? 

As a typical firstborn, I knew this was bigger than not being able to sleep.  She felt out of control because she tried to fall asleep, and couldn't.  It made her feel anxious.  She worried about it the whole next day.  She worked herself up so much before bedtime that she gave herself a stomachache.  I knew a dose of Benadryl was a band-aid over a bigger issue, and I knew this was something I needed to care about.

I have had a lot of noble thoughts lately about my purpose in life.  I've read some incredibly challenging books and blogs that have seriously made me reconsider my life, the American Dream, and what my priorities are.

First was Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution - a man who moved into the inner city to minister to the homeless.

Next it was Jen Hatmaker's Interrupted and Seven - detailing how God came in and interrupted her comfortable American life and radically changed everything about it.

I just finished Kisses from Katie about a young girl named Katie Davis, who gave up college, friends, boyfriend, and family to live in Uganda, adopt 14 orphans, and begin a ministry to care for children in one of the poorest parts of Africa.

Yesterday we sang Arms Open Wide in church and I meant every word that I sang:
 My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way

And just hours later I am stewing about missing a few hours of sleep.

Katie Davis spends her days caring for fourteen children, hanging out with some of the poorest people in the world, helping those infected with tuberculosis, HIV, and malaria.  I can't imagine she gets a whole lot of sleep with that many children in her house.

Oh God, I talk a big talk, but I don't know if I can walk the walk.  I want to live a life of surrender to you - in everything - but you are reminding me that it starts with the little things.  It begins with ministering to my own daughter at 2 am instead of getting mad and feeling entitled to my sleep.  It starts with laundry and taking care of a friend's children and bringing a meal to someone who just lost a child.  It's listening and giving and playing and encouraging until I'm spent.  It means giving up my "rights" and finding joy in the middle of sacrifice, because "for the joy set before you, you endured the Cross." Hebrews 12:2

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much..." Luke 16:10

Park Quest: Rocks State Park

The forecast called for thunderstorms, but we decided to chance a trip to Rocks State Park anyways, and so glad we did!  After about an hour of driving, we found the trail and started the long trek up a huge hill.  It wasn't all that long, but it was hard for all the little legs in our family!

The reward finally came at the top, with breathtaking views and an enormous drop-off!  I stayed back and made two children sit next to my feet while Daddy took them out one by one to look over the edge.  I had knots in my stomach the entire time!

Then it was a short hike down to Gator Rock - you can see how it got its name!

The ranger told us about a waterfall just ten minutes down the road. After a (hot and sweaty) lunch in the parking lot, we hiked for about five or ten minutes, which opened up into a stream and the sound of gushing water! The water was really chilly but the experience was so worth it!

And then it was time for some stream wading!  I have such fond memories of doing this as a kid - looking for crayfish and salamanders, picking your way carefully over the rocks, "accidentally" falling in and getting wet!  I love that our kids are becoming outdoor adventurers and aren't afraid to get a little wet or dirty!

Finally, a stop for ice cream on our way home!  Love spending time with my little fam!

Summer Fun: Milk Carton Boats

Another item on our summer fun list: Make boats out of cardboard milk cartons.  I cut them ahead of time, and spray painted them white so the kids could have a blank canvas!  After painting and creating a mast out of a wooden skewer and some foam, we let them dry for a few hours.  Then it was time to sail!  Each kid picked out a stuffed animal to man the boat, and then off they went!  This provided at least a good hour of entertainment in the pool!

Honestly...

I entered into the summer with all these grand plans for filling our days with fun and new activities, not overcommitting our schedules so that we can stay home and spend lots of time together, and even fitting in "Room Time" each day so that everyone can rest and recharge.  They were such grand plans.

The reality of summer has set in.  Yesterday marked the exact halfway point. Yesterday (and the day before, and the day before) I almost lost my mind from all the fighting, talking back, crying, tempter tantrums, and screaming.  No matter how much "fun" I have scheduled, it just doesn't guarantee that we will have fun!!

I want to be the mom that looks forward to summer and can't wait to have everyone here all day long.  That was my grand plan.  But that's not the way it's working out.  Instead I find myself frustrated, tired, and snapping at the kids all.day.long.  Even during our supposed "fun" times.

This is not a post where I figure it out and have some huge inspiration and end on a feel good note, because I haven't.  I'm still wading through the muck in order to find the stream of living water.

My only answer is going to sound so trite.  Go to God.  That's been His whisper to me since the beginning of this year.  "Come to Me.  Sit at My feet.  Be in My Presence."  It's crazy but He keeps confirming over and over to me that this is the lesson I need to learn, the one I fail at so miserably time and again.  Through books, sermons, conversations with friends, other random blogs - He keeps whispering until the whisper has become almost a shout and I can't help but feel I am being hit over the head with it.

I am reading an amazing, life-changing book called The Pressure's Off, by Larry Crabb.  He says: "Plenty of Scripture supports our praying for tangible blessings, relieved suffering, and a sense of well-being.  It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to pray for blessings, and it's okay to be happy when blessings come.  But it's not okay to ground our anchoring joy in the Better Life of Blessings.

There's a new way to live, and it's radically different.  It begins with identifying not your deepest longings but your deepest flaw.  Out of brokenness comes repentance that surfaces your longing for God's glory. Living for God's glory, and not for the blessings this life may provide, guarantees God's active presence with us, sometimes felt and enjoyed, sometimes unfelt during long nights of neither visible blessings from Him nor experienced intimacy with Him.  But the Spirit is always at work.  We believe it and have hope.  Eventually we experience it and know joy. Along the way, we are liberated from the drive to fill ourselves, to keep feeling good based on good things in our lives, and we are released to live for Christ and to love both God and others."

An excerpt from my journal, in response to this book:

"Honestly, right now I just feel tired.  I love summer, but summer is busy.  Even after trying to keep the summer not busy, it's still totally busy.  The kids fight constantly, argue with me, don't listen, make a huge mess and leave it there, disobey over and over.  I'm exhausted mentally from trying to figure out how to discipline them.  I raise my voice, get annoyed, want to get away, and then I feel guilty.  I don't want to wish this time away.

So maybe I am depending on my kids' behavior for my joy.  Am I?  Does it affect my moods that much?  Yes.  I hate the whining, crying, complaining, tattling, and temper tantrums.  I am frustrated!

God, I can't do this much longer without snapping.  I already have a few times.  Forgive me for the times I've been harsh, frustrated, and angry with the kids.  Give me more of YOU.  I need Your help in this.  Divine, supernatural help because I am failing miserably.  I'm sorry for trying to do this without You.

I will abandon myself to YOU.  This is my life.  This is what you have chosen for me. And even though it doesn't make sense all of the time and I feel lost and frustrated - I trust You to redeem these times with the kids and turn it into a good story - Your story.  I will cling to You.

And so I can enter today with confidence, knowing I have You by my side, that you are working all things together for good.  My job is to glorify You, enjoy You, and reveal You to others.  Help me especially to do that for my children. Because of You, I can love them with Your love, forgive quickly, speak gently, and find joy in the mundane."

Park Quest: Fort Frederick State Park

If you've never been to Fort Frederick State Park, it is so totally worth the trip!!  We loved it there!  And a big bonus, the letterboxes didn't have locks on them!  Haha!

The quest sends you to different spots around the grounds and teaches you along the way what life was like there during the Revolutionary War.  This guy was dressed as a soldier from that time period, and later did a musket shooting demo that totally captivated Jonas!

These were the bunks that the soldiers slept on - too short for a grown man to lay down comfortably!

The rooms were set up as they would have been for that time period - so fascinating to see the things they used for cooking, cleaning, entertainment, etc.

This was a fun surprise - a barn swallow nest with three little baby heads poking out!  When we raised our hands in the air they would open their little beaks and chirp like crazy!  We had so much fun watching them!

 Walled fortress!